Monday, September 04, 2006

A cure for dry coughs

I had the misfortune of setting next to a man on the tube this morning who wouldn't stop coughing. Every few seconds, he would make a feeble attempt to clear his throat, stop and then start again. I suspect he had one of those irritating ticklish coughs that cause you involuntarily to cough without warning but which aren't really cleared by the act of coughing.

Either way, it annoyed me.

After he had coughed for the fifth time, I could take no more so I summoned every ounce of Englishness from my body and did the proper thing. I glared at him.

Miracles! He promptly stopped coughing and I didn't hear a peep out of him until I alighted at Embankment.

I think I should patent my glare before somebody else does.

3 comments:

LeeChee said...

I guess it's just my old age, by I find myself becoming increasingly annoyed by other people. Why do they have to talk to each other? Why can't they just sit quietly and keep to themselves. Why aren't all mobiles banned, except when I want to use mine? Why isn't sniffing or breathing loudly a punishable crime? Humming or whistling is offensive, there's no two ways about it.

I would invest in a pair of Bose QuietComfort 3s if I didn't think I'd look like a man on the verge of homocide whilst walking around Waitrose. (Which of course I am, but I don't want them to know that).

Richard Brown said...

I guess it's just my old age, by I find myself becoming increasingly annoyed by other people. Why do they have to talk to each other? Why can't they just sit quietly and keep to themselves. Why aren't all mobiles banned, except when I want to use mine? Why isn't sniffing or breathing loudly a punishable crime? Humming or whistling is offensive, there's no two ways about it.

Completely agreed.

Other People don't seem to understand the importance of not annoying me. I don't understand how they don't learn.

Jon Deane said...

Now that you're living in your evil lair (is it disguising a volcano, perchance?), you can put together your absurd over-the-top scheme to wipe out all of humanity that annoys you.